At some point, being a leader can start to feel like playing a character. You’re the person with the answer. The steady hand. The one who knows what happens next.
There’s a reason for that. People depend on you, and you take that responsibility seriously. But maintaining the image can become exhausting. You start editing out the question you wanted to ask, the concern you haven’t resolved, or the admission that someone else understands this better.
In his TEDxNorwichED talk, The Courage to Be Vulnerable: Lifting the Mask on Leadership, James Heale explores the relationship between vulnerability and the culture leaders create.
What interests me about this is the distance that can develop between the person and the position.
People may know your expectations, your decisions, and your professional history. But do they know what you’re learning? Can they tell when you need their perspective? Have they ever seen you reconsider something?
Those things give people ways to participate. If you acknowledge a gap in your knowledge, someone can help fill it. If you discuss a mistake, someone may recognize a problem they’ve been reluctant to raise. If you share an interest outside work, a conversation can begin that your job title would never have started.
That’s part of what I think gets missed in conversations about leadership vulnerability. We spend so much time considering what a leader risks revealing that we overlook what other people gain access to.
There’s a person they can speak with, learn about, and contribute to.
Of course, openness takes judgment. You still have responsibilities, boundaries, and decisions to make. But you can fulfill those responsibilities while letting people see more of the person carrying them.
You might begin by asking someone to explain something you don’t understand. Or acknowledging that their approach was better. Or talking about something you’re still working through, before you have a tidy ending to offer.
These are small moments. They can also be the moments when someone feels able to have a more honest conversation with you.
That’s what we’re practicing with Big V Energy: giving people more opportunities to know the person behind the title.
Explore the 25 free challenges and accompanying V-Casts at getbigvenergy.com.